Together We Can

I was sitting on the beach waiting for my client while I prayed. I was hoping to receive good news from my daughter Dacia as she was at the DR’s to learn how far her breast cancer had spread. That day, I knew only a little about cancer. I had lost a good friend to this horrible disease years earlier. It was something that happened to others but couldn’t happen to my little girl, could it? My customer arrived, time to get back to work. Later I saw a missed call & Sue’s Text. That’s when TIME STOPPED. The cancer had spread throughout Dacia’s upper body. There were numerous locations and it metastasized to her bones. A rare fast acting Stage IV Lobular inoperable Breast Cancer. I was stunned. What could I do? It had always been my job as a Dad to fix things. How do I fix this? I had no answers.

Dacia was born when Sue & I were 18 and 19. This girl quickly showed us how strong willed and independent she was. Dacia was always a strong, athletic, healthy girl. Nothing stopped her.  When she set her mind to do something she was not content until it was accomplished. Dacia graduated from Lewis & Clark College with a Bachelors in International Affairs. While working full time at Schwabe, Williamson & Wyatt, she attended George Fox College where she received a Masters Degree in Elementary Education. Dacia became a well loved Teacher at Corbett Elementary.  

June 27, 2017 Dacia received her prognosis. A year if she chose no treatment; OR The Dr’s thought since the cancer hadn’t spread to any major organs, they may be able to extend her life by 4-5 years with specific treatments. Dacia followed her oncologist's prescribed conventional treatments plus she followed the nutrition plan recommended by her Naturopathic Oncologist. She was determined to beat this, but by the Spring of 2018, the pain was too much to bear. Dacia and Sam chose to switch to Alternative Treatments & Quality of Life over conventional treatment. Dacia’s Hope was to stay by Sam’s side as long as possible to help him raise their children, 7 year old Ryder and 3 year old Kaia. At this point we focused on Hope. Our Hope was in God. Our Faith saw us thru Dacia’s Cancer Journey and the Valley of the Shadow of Death. 

On May 15, 2018 Dacia collapsed and was rushed to Portland’s Providence Hospital where several tests were run over 12 days. Her Cancer Team & Neurologist told us Dacia’s Cancer had jumped to her Cerebral Cortex. Dacia’s question mirrored ours. “How did this happen?” Their response: “We don’t know”. They told us she only had a matter of days and no treatment was recommended. Dacia wanted to go home and spend her final days with her husband and children. She wanted to be at home when she died.

Sam moved Heaven and Earth to set up Hospice quickly. The next day found the four of us Sam, Shawna, Sue & I training with the Head Hospice Nurse. We each took 6 hour daily shifts to care for Dacia 24/7 for 2 1/2 weeks. Several friends & family members took over shifts to give the four of us respite.  It was a strangely beautiful time. For Us, Time Stoodstill. Everyday, Ryder climbed up into Mama’s bed for a snuggle & chat. We found little sprigs of flowers on Dacia’s bed and knew even tho Kaia was shy about climbing into bed with Mama, she picked flowers & brought them to her daily. Sadly, Dacia’s back was broken in 3 places so linen changes were excruciating.  Sam, Dacia’s rock of a husband, has the ability to think outside the box. He recruited to lift Dacia into the air, each one at a corner of her blanket. As her bed was changed beneath her Dacia giggled and said “Pump up the Jam!”  We experienced little miracles every day. The Dr’s said she’d stop eating and drinking, then be unable to speak. It didn’t happen. Dac ate, drank and was cognizant till her last breath. On June 15, 2018 at the age of 44, Dacia left her husband Sam, her two young children and her Earthly home to enter Heaven’s Gates. 

In Honor and memory of our daughter Dacia, we have established the Joy Foundation, a 501(c)3 charitable organization.

As a family, we are determined to help other Cancer Patients & their families. We want to reduce the strain of the Journey in the same ways that Friends and Family helped us. With a Cancer diagnosis, sometimes a two income family becomes a one income family. Or the Cancer patient is the sole breadwinner. Cancer expenses add up quickly.  A natural/organic diet is expensive. Organic groceries double/triples the budget. Not all treatments are covered by Insurance. A Naturopath quoted supplements @ $300-$800/month; Vitamin C IV's @ $11,500 for 20 weeks. That is just the beginning, the list goes on & on. From our experience, at just 6 months in, Cancer bills over & above insurance coverage can easily reach $20,000. Dacia’s Independent Spirit and Strong Will that she called on to Battle Cancer is the same Spirit that makes it hard for Cancer Patients like her to ask for help. Our immediate goal is to assist cancer patients and their caregivers in the areas of prepped meals, housekeeping & childcare. Our long term goal is to work with carefully selected hospitals across the United States that care for patients who are struggling financially.  Please Help Us Help Them.